I won't “grin and bear it”

A couple weeks have passed since World Mental Health Day, a day to recognize, learn and advocate for mental well-being. While a day isn't sufficient to bring adequate awareness to this issue (no single awareness day for any issue ever really is), it is an excellent opportunity for our communities to discuss the necessity for mental health to be a universal human right.

Mental health is a journey; we learn more about our authentic selves daily.

What makes us tick? What gives us the ick?

I take an intentional approach to my mental health, partly through necessity. I have been diagnosed with ADHD and with Anxiety. I have written three pieces to raise awareness of these illnesses and broaden the understanding of mental health.

The first is something I wrote for my husband during a time when my mental illness was controlling more of my life than I wanted. The words flooded my thoughts at 5 a.m., and I hurried downstairs to pick up my notebook. I wrote the piece in an attempt to describe the early stages of an anxiety attack as I experience it, to paint a picture for my neuro-typical hubby. Putting the experience into words has helped both of us grow and better understand what each person needs during those moments. It also helped me resurface and come to grips with the state of my mental well-being at that time, identifying the need for more consideration of the matter.

In those moments, anxiety is like a cloak over me. Every bodily function becomes heightened, and my surroundings become muffled. My husband’s attempts at communication become nothing but an echo in the distance.

I called the piece "Echo," and you can find it HERE. I hope my description brings some reflection for others as well.

The next two pieces are more of an account of my experience through identifying my brain chemistry, naming the imbalances, and beginning treatment.

Adjusting lives to meet neurodivergence is the right approach for some. Making concessions when needed and remediating with behavioural or environmental changes. For some, lifestyle changes instead of pharmaceutical treatment is the right approach.

The synonyms offered for 'cope,' terms like "endure,” "handle," "suffer," and "survive," are seemingly more antithetical than analogous. And I think that’s fitting for how people handle their mental health. The steps and elements that make up my “cope” are a combination — a set of practices, boundaries, and a sprinkle of medication. And my goal is not to survive but to thrive, not despite my mental chemistry but because of it.

Every day, each person carries different baggage. We all have bags from family, friends, health, work, hobbies, financial responsibilities, to name a few. The weight of each bag and the weight each individual can lift and carry varies. If we were physically carrying the bags, we would value time spent in the gym to increase muscle mass to carry more weight or endure the load for longer. We value investing in our physical health by working out, fueling our bodies with nutritious food, taking vitamins, and the like.

As a species, we suffer from physical ailments. These can be short-term, like a sprained ankle, or long-term, like an auto-immune disease. However, it is not only those who suffer from physical medical conditions that invest in their physical health. The same should be true when considering our mental health. Don’t wait for an ailment to exercise, rehydrate, stretch, or rehabilitate your mind. Create a mental fitness routine that helps you carry your ‘bags’ with grit and grace.

This may not have been a priority in the past. Mental awareness and investment weren’t prioritized or even respected.

“Grin and bear it”

“Bite-the-bullet”

or even as blatant as

“suck it up”

There wasn’t time to recharge or space to evaluate your mental needs.

For those who continue to live in this reality, I’m sorry you are carrying that weight.

If we made decisions and lived our lives with the sole justification, “That’s the way it’s always been done,” we would never advance as a people, as a community, as a society.

It sucks that some grew up in a time when mental health wasn’t valued or even understood. It sucks that it was stigmatized. I hope you can find the space now to start the journey of building your mental strength. Finding the support to repair any rooted fractures. And when possible, become an ally for others seeking the same.

Sometimes, that means being the shoulder to catch the tears.

Sometimes, it means being the ears that catch the pain.

Sometimes, it means being the heart that helps carry the weight.

There is more strength in acknowledging our weaknesses and seeking opportunities to fix them than pretending they don't exist or that they don't matter.

If I can be an ally to you, please do not hesitate to reach out.

Now, all that said, here is my experience: I start my day with a little blue and white pill, and I end each day with an orange one...

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